Sunday, June 30, 2013

33. Things to keep.....and not to keep

33. Things to keep and not to keep
     ( This one from one of my best friend)
You are what you eat -and what you don't eat. Similarly, life depends on what you keep and what you don't keep. There are many things in life that people may keep, but only a few are truly worth keeping. Here is a list of what to keep (and how) for a brighter, happier and more fulfilling life.

1) Keep calm. Life can be unnerving and if you don't make an effort to keep collected and focused, you could easily lose your cool. Take regular, conscious deep breaths to calm and center yourself.

2) Keep your chin up. Not only is it good for your posture and diminishes your double chin, it also helps you maintain an "I can handle it" attitude. By keeping your chin up, you can keep your head above water.

3) Keep your spirits high. Always maintain a positive and joyful attitude. Remember that no one can perk you up like yourself. Keep your spirits high when the going gets rough by focusing on your dreams and counting your blessings.

4) Keep your word. The true measure of a man is if he keeps his word. Honorable and trustworthy is the man who stands by what he says and promises. It is important to think well before speaking because once a word is uttered and released into the universe, its vibrations could no longer be erased.

5) Keep in time with your inner drummer. Don't be swayed by others into following the confusing beat of their drums. Although it is sometimes necessary to adjust to the pace of others, it is best to keep in step with your personal rhythm and to dance to your own music.

6) Keep in touch with the child in you. The source of creativity in your life is that little child within you. He questions, he marvels, he imagines and invents. Stay in touch with him, and be young and creative for life!

7) Keep abreast of the times. The world is moving so fast. Know what's happening, what's in style, what's au courant, what's relevant, what's important. Learn the hottest trends and the latest in technology. Don't be caught in a time warp or you'll be left behind.

8) Keep in shape. Your shape shows your state of health. Your body is the vessel that you journey through life in. Keep it healthy and strong. Don't be one of those people who say, "I'm in shape; round is a shape!"

9) Keep your mouth shut. People talk too much. We language ourselves to our own destruction and defeat. Know when to talk and when to shut up. Avoid being too verbose. Oftentimes, silence speaks more eloquently than words.

10) Keep good friends. Good friends are hard to find. Nurture friendships that make your plight through life easier, more wonderful and meaningful. Truly poor is the man who has no good friends.

11) Keep great memories, not heavy objects. In the very end, good memories of life are what we will be left with, not jewels and riches that we can't bring when we finally go. Live each moment beautifully. Linked together, these magical moments create a magnificent life.

12) Keep a diary. Writing a journal is therapeutic. Record the important events in your life, your dreams and aspirations, even your failures and disappointments. When you trace back events in your life, you are bound to learn lessons from them as well as find great inspiration and strength.

13) Keep saying grace and thanks. Blessed is he who says grace before he eats and gives thanks for all the gifts he receives daily. Maintain a thankful attitude and focus on your blessings instead of disappointments.

14) Keep on moving forward. The universe moves forward in time. Don't get stuck in yesterday; make an effort to move ahead to a better life. Drop those unnecessary pieces of material and emotional baggage that weigh you down and keep you from flying to your loftiest dreams.

15) Keep out of danger. He who exposes himself to danger finds it. Don't court danger; avoid it. As they say, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Look out for number one (that's you!), and always stay safe and sound.

16) Keep up the good work. Success is built upon success. The more you do, the more you achieve; the more you achieve, the better you get at doing it. Make success a habit by keeping up the good work.

17) Keep young. Do everything in your power to stay strong, supple and youthful. Think young; feel young. A wise man once said "It is never too late to be what you might have been." Remember that age is a number and that youth is an attitude.

18) Keep on dancing. Life is a dance through space and time. Embellish whatever music life plays for you with your own fresh orchestration and creative choreography. Be excited in your heart and keep your feet light with happiness.

19) Keep on loving. Love is the reason we were created. Love diminishes when hoarded but multiplies when shared. Give it and feel it overflow in your heart. Love cures all sadness, pain and sorrow. Lonely is he who does not give love away and therefore gets none in return.

20) Keep on dreaming. Most men, even if they are young, are dead - that is, if they can no longer dream. Our dreams are what keep us young and alive; they give us that sparkle in our eyes. Our dreams keep us going even while everything around us says, "Stop."

21) Keep on hoping. Never lose hope. Tomorrow will be another day that will bring new hope and greater blessings. Keep faith in the abundance of the universe and the mystery and perfection of life. Hope for nothing but the best and that's what you will be granted.

22) Keep on believing. Belief is the mother of reality. What you believe becomes your truth. Believe in yourself, believe in the magic of the universe, believe in the power of your dreams. And most of all, believe you can do it, so you can have all your heart's desires!

These You Must Not Keep

1) Don't keep up with the Joneses. Just because your neighbor bought a red Ferrari, you, too, must get one. Don't join the bandwagon and keep away from the "herd mentality." Too much unhappiness in this world is caused by comparisons - comparing yourself and trying to measure up to other people. There is really no need to live up to others' expectations if it would just bring you inconvenience and misery.

2) Don't keep issues and grudges. The reason most of us stay miserable is because we keep issues, grudges, and problems. Detox yourself of complaints and issues that keep you from being the best that you could be. Try to solve all problems that beset you; never leave anything unresolved. The questions and puzzles of life are what make it challenging and exciting.

3) Don't keep resentments and memories of painful experiences. Life is not a bed of roses so you must learn to let go of negative feelings and memories of painful experiences. It's hard to go on living with a heavy heart. Pardon, forgive, forget if you can, and move on.
 
 
 

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

32. Find the purpose....and find motivation

32. Find Purpose:
            ‘Find purpose’ is a very wide term used in general terminology. There are three aspects of finding the purpose.
1.      Find the purpose of others behavior.
2.      Find the purpose of your set backs/adversity.
3.      Find the purpose of your life.
1.      We are generally unhappy with the behavior of our close relatives. The more closer/intimate the relationship, the more you are hurt by their slightest rough behavior. What you have to do is to find the purpose in the behavior rather that the method.
When I was studying in the school I used to remain very much unhappy with one of my teacher who used to give lot of home work. One day my father explained it to me that it is good for you to do more home work. You will become expert in mathematics by doing good amount of practice.
“It is like talking a bitter medicine for your health.” He continued to explain it to me.
I do not remember whether I understood this advice or not. However, if I look back at this, I am convinced that, it has made my career as an engineer. Now I could understand that, what is required to be observed is the purpose behind any action and not the process of doing it.
2. When some adversity strikes, you may feel overwhelmed by this situation. The most difficult part here is to find the purpose in adversity. When I had some mood swings ten years back. I was literally overwhelmed by it, leave aside finding the purpose. But now, as I look back, I feel it has given me immense wisdom and clear attitude towards the problems. I am in fact, proud of the fact that, I have privilege of having, first hand experience of what I meant by ‘mood swing’. All the techniques mentioned here in this booklet are tested for months together before it reaches you. These are not the words of some books taken directly to show knowledge over the issue. It has in fact, given an idea to help others who are struggling to come out of their shell and tame the monster within.
      Almost all social organizations, those who help others in crisis are outcome of some person/s efforts who has found a purpose in his own adversity. An  extension of finding such purpose may lead to purpose of life.
      When we say that, purpose of life is liberation no body knows what it actually mean to be liberated. To the best of my knowledge, forgetting your own problems, helping others and while doing so to remain blissful is liberation, a true liberation.           
Find the purpose at all levels.
Find the purpose in adverse condition, you are in today.....and find motivation.



Friday, June 21, 2013

31. Know what you want and what you don't want...........find for yourself

31. Know what you want and what you don’t want.
            It happens sometimes, that you are not actually aware of what do you ultimately want in life. Similarly we are often not aware about the feeling that, we want to avoid at all cost. After a lot of soul searching It dawn upon me that, each incidence that bothered me had two things in common. Either I wanted to achieve certain thing or I wanted to avoid certain thing. Either I did not want certrain event to occur at all or wanted it to occur in the way I wanted it to happen.
            Some of the negative feelings I strongly avoided are Guilt and worry. What I ready wanted is bliss all time and controls over the situation.(rather a feeling of control over the issue.)
            Once I found out this fact, I would than test each bothering event on this scale. If  I am ready to accept all that would come but not Guilt and worry, question of Guilt and worry immediately disappears. If bliss and control were two things that I wanted at any cost then why bother for some issue, spoiling my bliss and feeling of control.
            Find out for yourself, which feelings, you want to avoid at all cost and which feelings you would like at any cost. Draw a line and measure every event on this scale.
            It is however, not as easy as it appears. It sometimes happens that, both these things makes your decision impossible. Supposing what you want in life is money and what you want to avoid is ‘dishonesty’. Now, if you are offered a bribe for some favors, you are in deep trouble. You can not decide between ‘money’ and ‘dishonesty’.
            Know it for sure, that, feeling of fear is far more stronger than feeling of joy. In such situation make choice of what you do not want at any cost. However, if I want is ‘money’ and what I do not want is ‘poverty’, I have no problem taking bribe- rather I would be glad while doing this.
            It is very much necessary to decide first what you do not want at any cost and what you want at any cost. It is necessary to resolve such conflicts quickly before they spoil your mood, and make you brood over the issue day long and sometimes even days together.
            Find out what you will stand for and what you will not support at any cost.



Tuesday, June 11, 2013

30. Do pranayam(Deep Breathing)...........feel at ease

30. Do pranayames (Deep breathing.) ……..feel at ease
            In a laymen’s term prannayam is a process of deep breathing.
            Time and again I have noticed that, whenever I feel stressed my breathing pattern is not normal. The breathing becomes shallow and rapid.My jaws are tight and my first is clinched.
            There are two types of nerves in our body. One taking order from brains to various muscles i.e. sympathetic and other one which return message from muscles to the brain i.e. parasympathetic nerve. We do not have full control on sympathetic nerves, however we can manipulate parasympathetic nerves.
            When you become tense your breathing pattern is first to be affected. It become shallow and rapid. This deprives you of your oxygen requirement and intern make you more tense, because brain requires maximum oxygen in our body. Thus, the sympathetic nerves are activated making you tense. Now suppose, you deliberately manipulate the breathing pattern, it send the message to the brain that, everything is normal. The tension is thus eased out.
            The process of taking deep breathing deliberately is known as Pranayam. It was devised by the ancient saints as a mandatory method of God realization and spirituality. Regular practice of deep breathing can relive you of your mood swings, slowly but certainly.

            Without going into any complicated pranayam, you can do simplest deep breathing. Sit down cross legged or on a chair get yourself comfortable and relaxed. Be aware of your breathing pattern, slowly take in air inhale through both nostrils, hold for a second (only), and exhale slowly through both nostrils. Pause for a second and start the cycle again. If you can feel coolness of the air going in and warmness of air coming out, the results will be wonderful. Do this for five minutes only at the start and go up to 15 minutes in three months time, start deep breathing the bliss do Pranayams. 
  This is age old technique devised by ancient Indian saints
Do pranayam (Deep breathing)............feel at ease

Sunday, June 9, 2013

30. Act as if..........and feel like a king

29. Act as if……………
            My younger son is afraid of entering in a dark room alone, unless there is light or some one accompanying him he will not enter in to the dark room. The other day he said, “Papa I am selected to act in a drama ” Alexander the Great and I want to rehearse my dialogues in front of you”. "ok,start ' I said.After  few minutes he missed one line and required his notebook, where in the dialogues were written. “Go, get it” I said, he went in the room and get his notebook.
            “How come you are not afraid, while bringing this note book ?.” I asked.
            “Well,” he replied “you know, I am Alexander the Great, right now.”
I liked this idea so much that. I started using it for my own practice to preserve bliss all through the day.
            Acting as if you were so and so…….. Or acting as if you are in your best form, acting as if you are on top of the world, all these will relieve your pain immediately. What you do here is deny your routine negative thought, any entry in to our brain by saying” “I am different.” Acting as if you are a child and have profound joy and bliss will shift your focus from the existing problems. Knowing well, your are only acting and that, you can get back to your stress and bad moods as and when they resurface will give you free access to true bliss.
            It is however, to be noted here that, acting as if should not be harmful to anybody else, or it should not violate general law of land and ethic. Acting as if you are king of kings does not mean, you can kick any body walking on the road. It is used only to control and tame your inner monster and not for any other purpose.
            Start with only fifteen minutes “Acting as if…….” Session and you can increase up to one hour a day. A ward of caution has……” Acting as if…….” Does not mean you have to drop all work that you are supposed to do as per your duties and only act. Believe and feel intensely “As if……..” and do your duties as usual.
Act now, act as if……………and feel like a king.



Friday, June 7, 2013

29. Do not compare........smile and move on

28. Don’t Compare:
            It is a general tendency of a person to compare himself with the person facing him. The psychology was perhaps acquired from the ancient times of stone age when man wandered in Jungles. Whenever he faced any creature or another man he used to evaluate his potential with the other creature. In case of a dual fright this was very much necessary. Perhaps the only tool of survival was this compression and than to decide about fighting or running away form the scene.
            This psychology still persists. These is, probably, no need to evaluate the opposing person when you simply face him – forget about a bout of boxing. If you are too stressed and anxious you switch in the defensive mode and try to compare each and ever person with yourself and ultimately drag yourself down emotionally.
            Some people, however, do it so rigorously that, they immediately feel superior or inferior to the opposing person. If you happen to be a person who have tendency to evaluate yourself below the opposing person, you will immediately feel a negative surge. In some people, it is however, so strong that they feel that is a question of life and death to face another person. What is shyness by the way? A person who constantly feels inferior to other is termed as a shy person. However, a soft spoken person is not necessarily a shy person, on the contrary he may be quite confident. Facing a group or public speaking makes at list 99% person feel uneasy.
            How do you interpret when you are on dais facing a group of people. It is evaluated as if a man-in jungle facing a group of hunter dogs in front of him. The only way is to run away and this psychology does not allow you to speak in public despite you are fully prepared to deliver the topic/presentation.
            Jealousy is also a part of such comparison. If you find some one better than you in any field, you are unhappy, because you could not reach there.
            Whenever you found yourself comparing yourself with some one else and feeling inferior or superior, say ‘stop’ to your self. Every time you catch yourself comparing yourself with others ask certain question to yourself. If required, write down the answer to each question.
1.      Are we not both sons of God, the almighty?
2.      Am I not good enough in any field?
3.      Is it not that, every one has been allotted seperate jobs?
4.      Is it like asking my eyes to take-up the job of ears and my ears to take-up the job of my eyes?
5.      Am I ready to exchange all that I have ie job, wealth- family- health – wealth – intelligence with the opposing person? Why then compare?
You are only one and hence you can not be compared with anyone in any field.
If you analyze these questions honestly you can find out that you and anyone else is not comparable. It is like comparing two separate quantities – say volume and velocity- in science. So you are neither superior nor inferior to any one else. The ancient criteria of survival are no more applicable now. You need not fight or runway from the situation any more, and hence you need not compare.
            It is quit likely that, a person who feels mood swing often is unhappy about his moods. He thinks the other person is happy and do not face such problems. Don’t be, under wrong impression. There re at least a dozen problems they are facing right now. It is quite likely that, they believe you as a happy  guy.
Don’t compare......... Smile and move on.



Sunday, June 2, 2013

28. Moment to moment attention........divert emotions

27. Moment to moment attention:
            One of the way to control emotional outburst either anger, sorrow, gloominess, worry, anxiety is to switch on logical part of the brain. Though it is not possible to, go logical when anxiety attacks you in full force. Nevertheless, after first surrender and faith you can switch on your logical part of the brain to tone down the effect of emotional storm.
            Generally you will not be able to think anything logical under these circumstances. But there are some interesting ways to slowly introduce logic. If you have to engage or if you can engage your attention every moment to something the emotional intensity will slowly fade away. The emotions gets stronger and stronger if you sit idle and brood or sit on an armchair doing nothing. This does not mean relaxing on an armchair brings bad moods but if you already have bad moods it is better to get going than sitting idle.
            Be aware and know it for sure, that you need to change the focus of your thought immediately.
            Following things are recommended immediately after the attack of emotional storm – of course after you become aware and after you surrender completely.
  1. Take up a walkman/ MP-3 Player and go for a long walk. (Not long drive).
  2. Play out door game with your son/pet.
  3. Take up a table tennis ball and racket and throw up the ball not allowing it to fall for ten minutes.
  4. Take up any three digit number say 874 & count speedily backward 873… 872…. 871…. Till you reach number one. The idea here is not allowing your automatic counting response to take over. When you count backward you have to have your attention their every time, making your logic work.
  5. There is one special pranayam(breathing technique)  that can work for you. Take deep breath and say ‘SO’ without making any external noise. Pause for a second and then exhale while exhaling say “hmmmm……’ again without making any external noise. ‘SO’ ‘hummm…..’ ‘soham’ . irrespective of its spiritual benefit what is does is divert your attention to your breath moment to moment. This will ultimately reduce the impact of immaterial storm.
  6. Recite you mantra. However, please make it sure that, you write the first word of the mantra in air (imagine) whenever you complete one mantra and start the another. This will also make you aware of it every moment and take your attention away from your emotions.
  7. Play a video game where you have to defend yourself every moment.
  8. Go to your close friend and talk about how you feel.
  9. Write down a diary or letter about how you feel. Be sure you finish the note with positive words.
  10. The most effective way is to surrender to your GURU, whole heartily. Surrender everything that you possess, including your body, your thoughts and your emotions. It is he and only he who could amend your emotions, if your say those emotion are from him only. This idea was taught to me by two ladies from village. One was crying profusely and the other was advising, “look, whenever, it goes beyond your control leave it all to God. Let him amend, if he wants. Let him not if he doesn't wish it be amended."
Engage your self in moment to moment attention........divert emotions






Saturday, June 1, 2013

27. Help others............feel your worth

26. Help others:
            When you are gloomy and worried about yourself, your future, your family, your health, your financial status, your career problem, your vision is completely blocked. It is like a big hillock  standing between you and your true vision. In such circumstances you have two options, either to more the hillock or get yourself away form it. The later is easy to perform. So shift your attention for the time being to some one else and come round the hillock to your destination. This does not mean, however, that, planning your future career, health and financial independence is bad in any way. There is however, a difference between planning and brooding. When you truly plan you future four aspect are essentially involved in it.
(a). You are happy with your present status. However you wants to reach the higher goals.
(b). You are optimistic of you future goal and visualize vividly the outcome as positive.
(c). Your are confident of your plan and for that matter your capacity to execute it.
(d). You are ready, in case it happens so, to take the failure in your stride and move ahead. This failure may take you below the status from where you have started. It may also give you some permanent losses.
            If these are the ingredients of your planning there is no problem at all. However, the other side of it is exactly opposite. You are unhappy today, desperate to get something or avoid something, anxious and not confident. If this is the way you are planning your future then STOP.
            STOP for sometime and drop your future altogether. Help others to elevate their present status. Their present is more worse than your future.
            Help others means helping a needy person in any manner. Spending time, giving same money and physical energy for others may even lift your present bad moods. However, please don’t do it for the sake of it or for earning the name and fame. No major work or huge amount is required here. And empathetic listening to a frustrated teenager  boy is enough, without giving him any advice.
            It is not known, how helping others actually lift your level of well being.
            There are tow reasons for the same.
            If you are spiritual, helping others will give you satisfaction, you may feel your worth. You may find a purpose and direction in your life. These all aspects will ultimately make you feel good.
            On the other hand, if you are egoistic, you need to feed your ego daily. Ego is like a monster which requires regular feeding. By helping others you inadvertently believe that you have done something for others, and that you are an inch above others, or at least you are not lower then the average person. There are hundred thousand people below your slandered. This idea of feeding the ego through helping others is still a debatable issue. Nevertheless, less this surety work for all person alike.
            More appropriate reason, as I feel, is the feeling of worth. Someone in the word is there, who need you help. This necessarily implies that, you are not worthless. A clinical depression sets in with a strong feeling of worthlessness, uselessness, extreme self pity. Extreme self guilt and a feeling of pitch dark future. Please know it for sure; there are pure feeling, your temporary perception of the world and your future. It has nothing to do with correctness or logical reasoning. Once you know this and start helping others your mood starts lifting automatically. This habit of helping others will stop your worthlessness and even prevent you from taking extreme step of harming yourself.
So, ……………… start helping others. and feel your worth